Can I vent for a moment?
Sometimes I want to scream when people who have children who are not twins but born less than 2 years apart say to me - "oh, i know just what it's like to raise twins, my kids are 15 months apart so I know just what you're dealing with" Um....no they don't. Even if their children were to be 9 months apart they are still not twins. They are not doing the same thing at the same time, they are in different stages, they are a different size, and the list goes on. Now, if they want to say it's harder to have kids close together than it is to have twins, fine. I think there are some things harder about twins and some things harder about having 2 very young babies that I will never have to deal with. So they can tell me their child raising experience is harder than mine and I'm fine with that (unless both my children happen to be throwing a tantrum or something at the time they are telling me this - then I might not feel like believing them :)) But PLEASE don't tell me it's the same. A friend of mine with twins said she usually just smiles and says "no it is not". I couldn't do that without being rude (she can definitely pull this off) so instead I just smile and let my blood boil until I get a headache.
Thank you. I just needed to get that out.
People are dumb. You should just say "NO IT'S NOT!" and let them think whatever they want.
ReplyDeleteI think some women just want everyone to think they have it worse. It's silly.
Anyone with kids will know there are good days and bad... but as one with a newborn right now to remind me of the beginning... I don't even know how you did it. You're amazing with your twins. I couldn't even imagine.
Without having had twins themselves, they can only imagine that what they are experiencing with "close-in-age" children is similar to having twins. They don't know better. And perhaps they want to feel like they can relate. Everyone wants to feel like they belong. But as you point out, there is one requirement that absolutely must be met to be a member of the "Parents Raising Twins" club. You have to be a parent of twins...two children carried in the womb at the same time, and born within a short time of each other. Others can claim to know what it's like, but you're a card-carrying member of the club. And you are so lucky! You were given your membership card by God, and with it comes great challenges and immense blessings. You guys have weathered the challenges with grace, and shared the blessings generously.
ReplyDeleteI love you guys!
LOVE, Dad
even though I have 3 close in age, I still think twins is super different and, in my opinion super harder. i can't imagine trying to nurse two babies or give them bottles or even starting solids or table foods at the same time. i can't imagine having to bathe two babies that can't sit independently at the same time. I can't imagine carrying two car seat carriers. these are just the starters I always think of. I know there are more. It's totally different!!! I've always recognized this and now that there are like 5 people that I know well that have twins, I see even more how different it is.
ReplyDeleteI always give props to moms with multiples!